memories
by worldoffire
Summary: Kurotsuchi, Deidara, and their memories of each other.


I have absolutely no idea how this came to be. Guess that's what I get for writing while deprived of sleep. I apologize if this makes no sense whatsoever.

Disclaimer: Hahaha, I wish I owned Naruto. Good joke, though.

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Kurotsuchi still misses him, sometimes.

It's been years since Deidara left—seven, though it's not like she's keeping count or anything—and she shouldn't even be thinking about him; he's a missing-nin and deserted their village long ago, and when it gets down to it, all he is is a traitor.

_But_, reminds the nasty part of her mind, _he was, and always will be, her big brother, even if not in blood._ They'd been close, especially given the four year age difference, and it had hit her hard when she'd found out he'd left, dropping bombs over the village as he left. She knew that after that, she should have cut him out completely; but she couldn't.

He would always be her big brother—the one who'd taught her to throw a kunai, to properly hold a shuriken, and helped her with homework innumerable times when she'd get stuck on a question, patience never failing.

She still has fond memories of watching him train under her grandfather; afternoons spent watching them yell back and forth instead of actually training, like they were supposed to, and her sitting on the sidelines, laughing hysterically. She also remembers how he used to make fireworks with his clay bombs, just after he perfected his use of them. She wonders, now, if he'd been planning to desert the village already at that point; it was only a few months after that when he left, after all.

She shouldn't miss him, not anymore; she's a kunoichi of Iwagakure, and she should be stronger than that. She should be rid of all emotions, perfectly unfeeling; but she's not and never will be, and she knows that. So, she figures, the best thing to do is only show her emotions when nobody is watching. That's why, the day after the news comes in that he is dead, killed by a missing-nin from Konoha, she doesn't attend the small celebration; instead, she curls up in her bed, where she's sure nobody can see or hear her, curls her fist around the jade pendant hanging around her neck, and weeps for him.

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Deidara still remembers the little dark-haired, wide-eyed girl who used to shadow him all around the village. Her name was Kurotsuchi and, if he's being honest with himself, she was the only real family he ever had; he doesn't recall his parents and he'd had no siblings.

He's an Akatsuki member now, and has been for quite a while; he shouldn't have family any more, shouldn't even be thinking about any he'd ever had. But he can never seem to shake the memories he has of her, of training and homework, yelling matches with the Tsuchikage and firework shows with his clay bombs. She was always one of the few people who had presents for him on his birthday, one of which was a small amber pendant he still wears, to this day.

Often, when he's alone, he'll clench his fist around it and be reminded of better days, before he was pushed into Akatsuki by the Uchiha and his Sharingan tricks. He'd give anything, during those times, to be back in Iwagakure with Kurotsuchi, training with her and the old man and going on normal missions, for a village that he still misses. Sometimes he wishes he'd never broken off from it, that he'd stayed and joined the ANBU and watched his adoptive sister move through the ranks.

He's heard she's become a highly respected kunoichi in Iwa; he'd have loved to have watched that happen himself. He wonders if she still wears the necklace he gave her, a jade pendant that he'd found for the birthday she had after giving him his necklace. He'd gone hunting for something like that specifically, knowing she was fond of jade. She'd have loved anything he gave her, he knew, but he'd wanted something special, and after three months of searching he'd found it.

He really does miss that kid; she was the little sister he never had but had wanted and eventually had found, and he wishes he'd have been there to see her grow up. Since he didn't get to do that, though, he settles for smiling to himself every time he hears something about her, usually in a shinobi bar or restaurant.

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They meet, once more, on the battlefield.

Kabuto has reanimated him, pulled him from death, and while he loves being back, he does wish he wasn't being pitted against his former teacher and his little sister. He feels a stab of sharp, hot pain in his gut just before he rushes in to attack; Kabuto is controlling him now, and he has no choice. If he had his way, he'd chuck a bomb straight in that snake's face.

His last thought, before Kabuto erases his personality and thoughts and feelings, is, _I hope they'll beat me and get him._

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It sends a pang through her, seeing him reanimated before them. She wants to run to him, throw her arms around him and beg him to come back; but she can't, and she knows that. This isn't her big brother; it's just one of Kabuto's pawns in the form of Deidara.

Even though she knows that, each taunt still hurts. It's a relief, really, when he stops and finally charges toward them. She tenses, ready for a fight. They're going to beat him, this she knows; and then she's going to find Kabuto and pummel him for using her big brother against them—because, even after all this time, she does still miss him.


End file.
